


Halloween

by anxiousdyke



Series: Wolfstar oneshots to make me feel better [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Sad, Ugh, Wolfstar Big Bang 2019, sirius never went after peter because he loves his boyfriend THATS IT, somebody HUG them, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 05:25:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousdyke/pseuds/anxiousdyke
Summary: My fav one yet. I live for the angst!The night James and Lily died.





	Halloween

Sirius wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. Just ten minutes ago he was in Godric’s Hallow, and now he’s on his motorbike with little Harry sleeping calmly in his arms? What does it mean?

Everything happened so quickly. He felt something was wrong when he couldn’t reach either to Lily or to James. He left Moony sleeping in their bed, took his motorbike and drove to his friends’ house, only to find them dead.

Dead? James and Lily were dead?

Harry yawned loudly and opened his eyes, so green and big, always cheerful. Sirius’ eyes were filled with tears he wasn’t even able to cry out yet. He didn’t remember what happened from when he arrived at Godric’s Hallow to when Hagrid gave him his godson. What was Hagrid even doing there? He didn’t know. He thought he saw James, laying there on the cold floor with his eyes dead and still opened, but he wasn’t sure of anything in that moment.

No, wait, there was still one thing to be certain about. Moony. Remus will know what had happened, Remus will understand. Sirius could barely remember the way to their own loft in London, and Harry was still soundless in his arms, the arms of his godfather that he knew so well. Sirius was trying to focus only on that child right now - whether Lily and James were dead will be sure in some time, somebody will tell him if it was true, and Harry needed to be taken care of right in that moment.

When Sirius stopped his motorbike under their loft, the bedroom light was on. So Remus wasn’t asleep; that was the first good information Sirius had stumbled upon that night. If Moony is up, he will surely understand what’s happening and explain to confused, bursting from rage Sirius.

He walked inside their home with a heart beating so strongly it surely almost jumped out of his chest. He only managed to close the doors behind them when he felt the spell protecting their house working. He felt a cold breeze on his face, and he knew exactly what was happening, but Harry didn’t and he started crying.

“What is the form of James’ animagus?” Remus’ voice rang loudly in the whole corridor, digging holes in Sirius’ brain, making him all dizzy. He suddenly felt tears on his cheeks.

“It’s a stag,” he answered with a shaky voice and the cold wind stopped blowing. He cuddled Harry closer to himself to protect him somehow, and the real Remus appeared in the hallway. He was clearly mad, but Sirius didn’t care - it’s his Moony, and if he’s alright then everything needs to be, right?

“That the hell were you thinking?!” Remus yelled at him, still keeping his wand up like he was ready to cast a spell in case it’s not the real Sirius. His eyes showed how angry he really was. “You disappear in the middle of the night, I- I was sure they’ve taken you or- don’t you know the times we live in! How could you do that to me, you-“

But in that moment he finally looked at Sirius for long enough to really see what was going on with his husband, and his heart beat faster. Sirius was still in his pyjamas that he threw a leather jacket on before he walked out, he was shivering, pale as a wall and crying. He reached his hand to Remus, the one that he wasn’t cuddling Harry with.

“Oh, Merlin,” Remus immediately came closer to him and took his hand between his own, but he was full of fear - something bad must have happened. He saw what Sirius was carrying so close to himself and he frowned.

“Is that-“

“Harry,” Sirius whispered. “James and Lily- Moony I- I think they’re dead! They’re fucking dead!”

Those words will be haunting both of them multiple times for the rest of their lives, but in that moment they filled the air like a thick fog. Sirius’ confuse was slowly disappearing and making space for the rage he had been feeling for some time now. He suddenly felt he needs to yell, kick, kill someone, do something-

“Give me Harry, Sirius, you’re shivering,” Remus finally said calmly and took the child from his partner. He cooed him in his arms and Harry calmed down immediately, cuddling to uncle Moony’s chest. “They’re... They’re dead? How do you know? Where have you been?”

But Sirius shrieked suddenly and kicked the old vase standing in the hallway that Remus so carefully renovated. The movement was so out of nowhere that Remus jumped back and Harry started crying again.

“Sirius!”

“Fuck!” Sirius yelled again, but then he slipped down the wall and sat down on the fluffy rug, hiding his face in his hands. “Fuck! Moony-“

And so he told Remus exactly what happened at the Godric’s Hallow. And they both thought the exactly same thing - if what Sirius was saying was true, then Peter Pettigrew, their old friend, that chubby, blonde boy, sold Lily and James to Voldemort. Remus sat down next to Sirius. Their own home suddenly felt so distant and cold.

“I don’t understand,” he told slowly, trying to remain calm. “I just- I don’t understand-“

“You don’t ?” Sirius bursted out, his hands strongly pulling his hair. “That traitor, that lying arsehole-“

“Sirius-“

“I’m going to kill him,” Sirius announced with his voice as dead as his eyes. He was scaring Remus for the first time in his life. Harry reached for his godfather, but Remus scooped him closer.

“Moo’y,” he said with his babbling, sleepy voice and Remus predicted what he was about to say, but he wasn’t ready to hear that. “Dada?”

„Shh, Harry,” he cuddled the baby, praying that he doesn’t demand James again. Remus himself was sore, it was almost midnight, he didn’t think clearly. Sirius looked at the child.

“James is dead,” he repeated quietly. “Lily is dead.”

“Stop saying that,” Remus begged, but Sirius shook his head.

“It’s true, and it’s Peter’s fault!” He stood up shakily and Remus quickly grabbed his jacket, trying to bring him down again.

“You’re not going anywhere!” He shouted, tears in his eyes. “You’re staying here, Sirius, I’m not loosing you, too!”

In that moment a silver Patronus flew into their hallway through the small space between doors and wall. It had a form of a giant phenix, and the whole room brightened up with its’ light. The animal spoke with Dumbledore’s voice.

“Stay where you are. Don’t move at any costs. Voldemort is gone. Keep Harry close.”

And with that, the bird disappeared into a silver mist and dropped to the floor; Harry tried to catch it with his tiny, chubby fists, giggling loudly. Remus ran fingers through his messy hair and kissed his forehead. Only when he moved the locks on his head, he saw something on Harry’s forehead that he hadn’t noticed before.

“Sirius,” he muttered and his husband looked down at him. Remus was keeping Harry’s hair off the way to show Sirius a scar in a form of a lightning with many, many arms in the centre of Harry’s forehead. The scar was yellow or white, Remus wasn’t sure, and it was greatly visible on the boy’s dark skin.

“I haven’t noticed it before,” Sirius concerned, forgetting about Peter for a second. “He didn’t have that, right?”

„No,” Remus examined it closer. “But it’s not bleeding or anything... he must have got that tonight.”

“A magical scar?”

“I’ve never seen one,” Remus answered quietly. “But I read about them. There isn’t many in this world.”

“But that would mean...” Sirius started, saying out loud what they both were thinking. “That Voldemort tried to kill Harry, too?”

He looked at the child, smiling at both of them. Sirius wished Harry would tell them what had happened. That poor boy had became an orphan just a few hours ago and he didn’t even realize that yet.

Remus moved Harry gently and kissed him again, and the child yawned in his arms. They were in silence for a minute or so, when Remus sniffled loudly and ungracefully stood up. Sirius wiped tears off his cheeks.

“We need to put him down,” Remus said like it was the most important and obvious thing in the world, like nothing had happened and Harry just had a sleepover at his uncles’ house, like he used to have many times. “See? He’s sleepy. We need to- to put him down. Yes.”

“Remus.”

“Come to the bedroom with me, please,” The blonde man said to Sirius, but he was already walking towards the other room with his legs shaking and his eyes filled with tears. Although he looked very miserable, he was holding Harry strongly, like that child was the only crucial thing left. “Sirius.”

Sirius didn’t want to go to the bedroom with his family. He wanted to run out of the house and scream as loud as his lungs would let him, he wanted to kill death eaters, to fight. James was dead and there was one person responsible, and Sirius wanted to find him and kill him. Right in that moment.

“Padfoot, I beg you,” Remus looked at him with his beautiful eyes and Sirius saw a broken thirteen years old boy again, like when he embarrassingly told him that he’s a werewolf. The urge to make revenge was incredibly strong inside Sirius, he literally felt his insides boiling with rage, but somehow he knew that if he leaves Remus now, he might never forgive him again.

“Okay,” Sirius whispered against his own feelings, against every muscle in his body that was telling him to fight. He suddenly realized he’s not the only one who lost both of his best friends that night.

When he walked into the bedroom, Remus was curled on the bed with Harry by his side. Sirius only saw his back, but it was shaking a little, assuring him that his husband was crying. He quietly slipped under the quilt and cuddled Remus, his hand strongly embracing the other man’s chest.

“Breathe, Moony,” he whispered, and with those words he felt like he was in Hogwarts again. How many times would he say that after a bad full moon? He wasn’t sure. “Breathe. Don’t panic. I’m right here.”

“You can’t go anywhere now,” Remus whispered back, his heart pounding strongly against Sirius’ palms. “Promise me.”

“I promise I won’t leave.”

Remus was waiting for the morning. He was hoping, even, that when the cold, November sun rises it all would turn out to be just a nightmare. He looked at Harry’s still, calm face, a perfect mix of James and Lily, and made a promise to himself that he will never let any more bad things happen to that child. He’d rather die.

Everytime Sirius closed his eyes, he saw James’ dead body laying on the staircase in Godric’s Hallow. He felt cold shivers down his spine. James, who he had known so well, whom he had loved for years, lifeless, killed in his own house. It was so grotesque, so weird, Sirius couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he had been dreaming this whole time, that he never left Moony hours before and that he’s still sleeping. And when he wakes up, his best friends would be alive again.

However, when the morning came, nothing had changed in that matter. 


End file.
